Life is a sum of all your choices.

- Albert Camus

I haven’t written a blog post in almost three weeks.

Why? Is it because I’ve run out ideas? Nope—In fact, I’m discovering new insights I’m eager to share. Have I been so busy I forgot about my blog and my readers? No, Not a [...]]]>

Life is a sum of all your choices.

- Albert Camus

I haven’t written a blog post in almost three weeks.

Why? Is it because I’ve run out ideas? Nope—In fact, I’m discovering new insights I’m eager to share. Have I been so busy I forgot about my blog and my readers? No, Not a day goes by I don’t think about all you fine people on the other side of the screen. Maybe my blog just got pushed aside by everything else in my life? Uh-uh, I don’t see it that way.

It’s true, the past five weeks have been filled to the brim for me. It’s our busiest time of year at work. At home, we’re still in the “baby bunker” with our five-month-old. Meanwhile the two- and five-year-old haven’t slowed down a bit—if anything, I think they’re accelerating.

The real reason I haven’t posted anything recently is that I’ve chosen not to. Honestly, I’ve had to focus on more important things. We only have a fixed amount of time to work, rest, play, lead, learn, grow, share, and enjoy life.

And though I’m tempted to, looking back, I don’t regret the choices I’ve made in the past few weeks. Why? Because I made those choices on purpose. Life didn’t just happen to me—I happened to it.

What about you? Are you leading your life, or is it leading you?

What intentional choices do you need to make this week? What choices do you need to help others make?

“Lucy, you can’t just say, ‘no-thank-you bite.’ You have to actually take a bite first.”

“But I don’t like it.”

“How do you know you don’t like it? You haven’t taken a no-thank-you bite yet.”

“No-thank-you bite.”

Parenting three kids five and under, my wife and I spend a lot of time providing [...]]]> “No-thank-you bite.”

“Lucy, you can’t just say, ‘no-thank-you bite.’ You have to actually take a bite first.”

“But I don’t like it.”

“How do you know you don’t like it? You haven’t taken a no-thank-you bite yet.”

“No-thank-you bite.”

Parenting three kids five and under, my wife and I spend a lot of time providing for needs, managing wants, and trying (mostly unsuccessfully) to explain the difference between the two. Whether its eating vegetables, going to bed on time, or cleaning up after themselves, I’m constantly trying to explain to my kids that while I love to give them what they want, my job is to give them what they need.

It’s no different with the grown-ups we lead. There are certain things our followers need and it’s our responsibility to provide them—regardless of whether they want them or not. Here are five examples off the top of my head:

1. The Truth. Sometimes the truth hurts, but that’s no reason to withhold it from someone—especially if they could grow from it. I’ve encountered too many adults who have been misled by well-meaning parents, teachers, coaches, and bosses who didn’t have the guts to tell them the truth. Watch any American Idol audition show; you’ll see dozens of examples of this.

2. Attention. My brother, who was two years ahead of me at West Point, gave me this advice just before I entered Beast Barracks: Be outstanding—but don’t stand out! Too many experiences with critical, hovering, or micromanaging bosses have left us fearful of a leader’s attention. Don’t let that deter you. What you pay attention to communicates (louder than words) what—and whom—you care about.

3. Correction. No one likes to be told they’re wrong. You know what they dislike even more? Getting near the end of a project—or what they think is the end—and being told that because no one corrected their errors near the beginning, they are now hundreds of miles off course. The tough part as a leader is that when you correct someone, they rarely see the potential frustration you helped them avoid.

4. Challenging Work. Everyone has some measure of innate ambition. No child says they want to grow up to be a deadbeat. No matter how lazy a person may seem, if you give them tough, meaningful work along with the tools needed to succeed, they’ll rise to the task—and come out the other side with more pride, confidence, and determination.

5. Accountability. Every year, people get with their leaders to define their goals. All too often those lofty, inspirational aims remain buried in a folder until their annual review. In the meantime the tyranny of the everyday slowly saps the meaning out of their work. Help your people succeed by simple holding them accountable to what they’ve agreed to accomplish.

What else do you think followers need that they don’t necessarily want?

Most people are familiar with the phrase, Begin with the end in mind. It’s the second of Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s incredibly useful advice that applies to everything from grocery [...]]]> As I finished grilling out the other day, I was reminded of the biggest secret to achieving sustained success in anything.

Most people are familiar with the phrase, Begin with the end in mind. It’s the second of Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It’s incredibly useful advice that applies to everything from grocery shopping to succession planning.

Far fewer people, however, understand or practice the habit of Ending with the beginning in mind. This habit is where you make your money. Where the battle is won or lost. Where the seeds of success are sewn.

Most of us, when we near the completion of something—anything—can’t wait to finish and move on. The only reason we linger is to celebrate our successes or to mull over our mistakes. The exceptional leader, however, finishes well not by looking backward, but by looking forward—and setting themselves and their team up for future success.

The concept is simple, but not easily executed. It takes a great deal of discipline—when you’re exhausted and excited about being done—to focus on preparing for “next time”. In the Army, no operation was complete and no one was released until all our vehicles and aircraft were washed and refueled and all our equipment was cleaned and accounted for.

Here are nine areas to practice ending with the beginning in mind. Some are fun. Some are serious. All of them build the habit.

1. Clean the grill directly after cooking. A buddy from flight school taught me this. Take some water and wash your grill while it’s still hot—it’s easier, faster and you’ll be all set for next time.

2. End meetings thinking about the next one. Leave time to discuss who is doing what between now and your next get-together. Agree on where and when that next meeting is, as well as who should attend.

3. Stretch after exercising. A little stretching before you run is good, it warms and loosens your body, but taking time to stretch your muscles after your workout is where you build the flexibility that will keep you safe during your next session.

4. Clean the dishes right after eating. I think you can work out the benefits of this one on your own.

5. Wash your bike/motorcycle/horse after a long ride. If you want your ride to take care of you, you must take care of it. Never put it away wet, dirty, or empty.

6. End today thinking about tomorrow. Lay out your exercise clothes. Fix your lunch. Set your alarm. Decide on your priorities for the next morning.

7. Cue the music. When you leave your car (or music player) in the evening, take a few moments to cue up the song you want to start your commute with in the morning. (My wife often surprises me with this one)

8. Think about Monday on Friday. Tom Peters is constantly reminding people before the week starts to script their first 5 plays for Monday morning. Don’t let Monday surprise you. You surprise it!

9. Don’t turn your clothes inside out. Before throwing them in the laundry hamper, make sure your clothes are turned right-side out. It takes no time at all but makes folding laundry much quicker.

This list is just the beginning. Odds are if you’re finishing a recurring task or event, you can find a way to invest a little time at the end that will pay big dividends the next time around.

Where do you end with the beginning in mind?

A great public speaker isn’t necessarily a great leader, but every exceptional leader I know is an exceptional public speaker. It makes sense, since you can only influence people to the extent that you can connect with them.

Over the years, I’ve witnessed literally hundreds of professionals become better speakers. Along the way, I’ve [...]]]>

A great public speaker isn’t necessarily a great leader, but every exceptional leader I know is an exceptional public speaker. It makes sense, since you can only influence people to the extent that you can connect with them.

Over the years, I’ve witnessed literally hundreds of professionals become better speakers. Along the way, I’ve observed three distinct levels of effectiveness. They each have to do with how people relate to their audiences.

I’ve found myself in each of these camps at different times, How about you?

Level 1: Talking At Your Audience. This is where most of us start. My first foray into public speaking was a talk to my high school Young Life club. To this day I can’t tell you what occurred during those 13 minutes of my life. It was all about me, not screwing up, not forgetting anything. I’m sure there was an audience but I honestly didn’t notice them.

Level 2: Talking To Your Audience. Once a speaker gains some confidence, they begin to notice their audience and actually speak to them. Though it’s a step in the right direction, speakers in this stage still think of public speaking as one-directional. I think the vast majority of people settle down and get comfortable in this stage. Having escaped Level 1, they mistakenly believe they’ve arrived.

Level 3: Talking With Your Audience. The best speakers I’ve ever seen—the elite few—talk with their audiences. They don’t scan the crowd as they speak, they actually have a series of one-on-one conversations with individuals in the audience. Of course the audience members don’t respond with words (usually), but the great speakers are listening intently, picking up body language and reactions from people—enjoying and encouraging them. The measure of a Level 3 Public Speaker? How well do they listen while speaking?

What do you struggle with when speaking in front of others?

To make the challenge better the next time, please take [...]]]> Many thanks to all who participated in the Leap Challenge. I had a blast putting it together—and have been overwhelmed by what you’ve done with it. Please keep me updated on your progress and don’t hesitate to send me questions!

To make the challenge better the next time, please take a few seconds to take this 6-question survey. Even if you only partially finished the challenge, I’d love to hear your feedback. Thanks!

Click here to take the survey

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams

- Henry David Thoreau

This is it. Leap Day. The day you’ve been looking forward to for at least a month—and probably for a lot longer than that. This is the day take a leap toward your dream.

Task #29: Let it rip!

If you’ve [...]]]>  

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams

- Henry David Thoreau

This is it. Leap Day. The day you’ve been looking forward to for at least a month—and probably for a lot longer than that. This is the day take a leap toward your dream.

Task #29: Let it rip!

If you’ve completed the first 28 tasks in this challenge, you are more than prepared to jump today with reckless abandon. You understand what you’re going after and why you’re going after it. You know the people you’ll need beside you. You’ve thought through how to best make your way. You’ve carefully considered the journey before you and prepared yourself to meet the challenges along the way.

What you don’t have:

• The illusion that this will be easy.
• The notion that you won’t have to sacrifice.
• The delusion that everything will go according to plan.
• The fantasy that this dream will come to you quickly.
• The misconception that you can do it all alone.

What you do have:

• An inescapable purpose that drives you.
• An aspirational vision that draws you.
• A host of people to support you.
• A plan leading you from here to there.
• And last—but not least—your eyes wide open.

After completing this challenge, you have every right to be bold. Don’t just shuffle across the start line—leap! Be confident. Be courageous. You’re ready…Go for it!

How did you leap today?

Task #28: Inspire yourself by reading your entire Leap Journal from the beginning.

Soak up all the thoughts and emotions and ideas and fears and commitments and interactions and hopes and [...]]]> Congratulations! You’ve made it to February 28th, Leap Day Eve. It’s time to look back through all you’ve accomplished to prepare yourself for tomorrow.

Task #28: Inspire yourself by reading your entire Leap Journal from the beginning.

Soak up all the thoughts and emotions and ideas and fears and commitments and interactions and hopes and disciplines you’ve recorded over the past month. Take it all in and be proud of the work you’ve done to prepare yourself to leap into your big dream tomorrow.

Feel free to tweak or modify or expand areas or tasks that you aren’t yet satisfied with. Put on the finishing touches and take a deep breath, because tomorrow…

We leap!

Do you feel ready to leap tomorrow?

Task #27: Anticipate the resistance you’ll face and prepare your response now; write it down in your Leap [...]]]> If you’re attempting anything of significance, expect resistance. Try to do anything extraordinary and you’ll immediately feel the gravity of the status quo pulling you back to the common level of life.

Task #27: Anticipate the resistance you’ll face and prepare your response now; write it down in your Leap Journal.

At the first sign of trouble, most people attempting something great are ambushed by their own emotions. Think of the advantage you’d have if you already knew how you would respond to a specific trial.

No doubt you put some thought into this while testing your overall plan. However, the responses you came up with were planning responses, not necessarily emotional ones. Explore the following possible roadblocks—how would they make you feel and how will you personally respond to them?

• Opposition. What if someone openly opposes you and/or your dream?
• Success. How will you respond if opportunities present themselves sooner than you had planned?
• Setbacks. How will you feel if something doesn’t go according to your plan—such as failing to meet a critical deadline?
• Doubt. What will you do when you begin to lose faith in your ability to accomplish this dream?

What would be your biggest roadblock and how will you emotionally respond to it?

For example: You decide you’re going to run in the morning; you [...]]]> Odds are when you take the leap next week, you’ll have a great couple of days—maybe even a week—before the luster of your new beginning fades. That’s when something will arise—from within or without—to challenge your commitment.

For example: You decide you’re going to run in the morning; you set the alarm; you lay out your shoes and clothes.

However, you wake the next morning to find that it’s 35˚F outside and raining. What do you do? Stick to your plan? Change it?

My advice is to practice disciplined flexibility—meaning only change the plan to keep on purpose, not at the whim of your moods or feelings.

In the example above, if you’re running to improve your health, then going out in conditions that would be harmful to your health would not serve your purpose.  You should adjust your plan in a way that continues to serve your purpose (i.e. run on a treadmill or later in the day).

However, if you have the proper gear to run in the rain and you just “don’t feel like it,” then by all means you stick to the plan. You run in the rain. Look to your purpose to guide you to the right decision.

Leap Task #25: Looking ahead, anticipate where you’ll struggle along the way, schedule regular times to review the effectiveness of your plan, and commit to not significantly changing the plan except during those scheduled reviews.

Do you err on the side of being too disciplined or too flexible?