Imagine one of your best friends—who’s not that great with money—called out of the blue with a “really hot” investment tip. How would you respond?

Now imagine your investment manager called out of the blue and offered to watch your kids so you could have the night off. How would you respond?

Odds are, both of these scenarios would be awkward for you. However, switch out the callers and you’d be happy to consider an investment tip from your financial manager and would be open to leaving your kids with your best friend for an evening.

Part of what’s going on in this thought experiment is that you are accustomed to trusting different people in different ways. Psychologists have identified two broad types of trust: Cognition-based Trust and Affect-based Trust.

Trusting with your Head. Cognition-based, or rational trust, is the trust you give to others who have the expertise and experience you deem is logicallyrequired to do what you need them to do. It’s the trust you primarily extend to the doctors, mechanics, and teachers in your life.

Trusting with your Heart. Affect-based, or relational trust, is the trust to give to those you connect with emotionally. You know who they are on a deeper level and sense that they care about you; that they’re on your side. It’s the trust you primarily extend to those you consider family and friends.

We rarely extend only one type of trust in a relationship. For example, you may not leave your kids with your best friend (high relational trust) because she knows nothing about kids (low rational trust in this context). Or, you may not answer calls from your very competent (high rational trust in this context) investment manager because he’s a jerk (low relational trust).

Regardless, the delineation between rational and relational trust is vital to understand, for while both types of trust are important and can work to reinforce each other, the process for building each is completely different. 

For Reflection: What type of trust—rational or relational—do you need to work most on with those you’re trying to build trust with?

Update: 23,408 words 

I’ve written 23,408 manuscript words out of a goal of 60,000. That puts me about 39% complete with the first draft, which is 8% more than last week.

I also finished the first draft of my book proposal yesterday. While I missed my deadline of the end of March, I’m glad to have the first pass complete. The proposal is more than just a marketing tool; it forces me to organize my thoughts, focus on what value I’m bringing to my readers, and clearly articulate what differentiates this book from others currently available.