It is what it is.

Here we go again.

God moves in mysterious ways.

We’ll just have to agree to disagree.

Boys will be boys.

Ever hear any of these phrases? Use any of them yourself? Any idea what they all have in common?

They are what Psychiatrist Robert Jay Lifton refers to as “thought-terminating clichés.” They are short, easily repeatable sayings designed to quickly dampen cognitive dissonance, stifle critical thinking, and discourage further discussion.

In just a few words, these simple phrases hide logical fallacies and inaccurate statements that drop huge semantic anchors, shifting or stopping conversations. For example:

• It is what it is = “There is absolutely nothing you or I can do to alter the current situation”
• Here we go again = “We’ve all heard what you’re about to say before and it’s a waste of time”
• God moves in mysterious ways = “We shouldn’t even try to understand this situation”
• Agree to disagree = “We have strong opposing opinions, so there’s no point even talking about it”
• Boys will be boys = “They can’t help it, so we can’t hold them accountable for their actions”

Every day people use thought-terminating clichés—without consciously thinking about it—to end arguments and move on from uncomfortable subjects. However, if you’re deciding whether to trust someone or not, a thought-terminating cliché could be a red flag. Cults and totalitarian regimes are notorious for using them to sedate followers into unquestioning obedience. They don’t want followers thinking for themselves.

Of course, not every thought-terminating cliché is used with nefarious motives of mind control. But if you’re a leader seeking to attract trust, the last thing you want is to inadvertently shut others down. Truly trustworthy leaders are not afraid of questions. They have nothing to hide and nothing to prove. They want followers to think for themselves, offer unique perspectives, and challenge assumptions.

If you’re looking to empower that caliber of person, then thought-terminating clichés are actually trust-terminating clichés as well.

For Reflection: What thought-terminating clichés have you used to end arguments? How could you respond differently?

Update: 91% Proposal Complete

With over 60,000 words written, I’m currently focusing on putting my book proposal together. It was another rough week. I missed my goal of completing the proposal by Sep 10th, but I’m pressing on. I worked on the Sample Chapters again this week, and moved the needle 3% toward completion.

9/10 Content (10%)

9/10 Market (10%)

4/5 Author (5%)

24/25 Synopsis (25%)

45/50 Sample Chapters (50%)

91/100 Total (100%)