His store manager was livid when Jose showed up for his shift. “Jose,” he bellowed, “Go send Frank home and start his separation paperwork. I’ve had it, this is the second time this week he’s showed up drunk.”
Jose was working as an assistant manager for a few weeks as part of a course preparing him to lead his own store soon. He’d dealt with poor performers before, so he headed back to take care of the “Frank” situation.
He found Frank leaning against some shelving in the backroom. The large man was pale and Jose could smell the alcohol on his breath as he approached. Jose instinctively asked him how he was doing.
“I’m just tired,” Frank slurred as he got up to continue his task of transferring merchandise.
“Have you been drinking?” Jose asked, already knowing the answer.
“No!” Frank barked as he slammed a box down. “Everyone thinks I’m drunk, but I haven’t had a drink all week.”
The odor of every word told Jose that Frank was lying.
However, Jose had just finished a class on “Listening for Leaders” and decided to give it a try. He motioned frank to sit back down and asked him what was really going on. Jose pushed the excuses he expected to hear out of his mind and just focused on listening to Frank.
Frank didn’t confess to any drinking problem, he just talked about how tired he was lately and how he felt a little confused. As he continued to speak, Frank gradually transformed in Jose’s eyes from a lying drunk to a sick man.
Jose had an idea. He secured a kit from the store’s pharmacy and tested Frank’s blood sugar. It was over 450 mg/dL—almost three times the normal range. After an immediate trip to the hospital, they discovered Frank was an undiagnosed diabetic whose body had gone into ketoacidosis, which explained the sluggishness and odor of alcohol he was emitting.
Jose saved Frank’s life by just listening to him.
The second element of trustworthiness is benevolence—and one of the simplest ways to demonstrate benevolence is by listening. Really listening. Listening to everything a person is communicating, not just the words they’re saying. Listening “between the lines” for what’s really going on.
That kind of listening requires a shift in focus for most of us. We must let go of our own agendas, interests, and expectations, and—perhaps most importantly—that amazing thing we were going to say.
Instead, we turn our focus fully onto the other person, onto their story. Everyone has a story. Every person you interact with today is a hero on a quest, overcoming obstacles and fighting off demons to achieve some worthy goal.
When you stop and listen to someone’s story, you show them their story matters—you show them they matter. It brings hope to the defeated, distracted, and disillusioned. It signals you are on their side; that you are someone who can be trusted.
For Reflection: Who did you listen to today? Who will you listen to tomorrow?
Update: 90% Proposal Complete
With over 60,000 words written, I’m currently focusing on putting my book proposal together.
I bit the bullet this week rearranging elements of my sample chapters that weren’t flowing correctly. As a result I’m subtracting 3% progress this week, because I’ve given myself more work to do to fix things. It’s frustrating, but necessary to achieve the quality I’m looking for. So, back down to 90%.
9/10 Content (10%)
9/10 Market (10%)
4/5 Author (5%)
24/25 Synopsis (25%)
44/50 Sample Chapters (50%)
90/100 Total (100%)
