Imagine you’ve just been put in charge of a crack team of talented experts you’ve never met. How would you introduce yourself to them?
If you’re like most people, you recognize the importance of a good first impression. So you deftly share any pertinent qualifications, accomplishments, and experiences you bring to the table, while being careful to avoid sharing anything that would diminish their confidence in you as their new leader.
Seems reasonable. After all, it’s what we’ve experienced with countless new leaders ourselves. However, multiple studies suggest that this approach may not have the effect you intend.
A cadre of social psychologists from around the world have spent the last few decades identifying two primary dimensions we look for when we judge others: Warmth and Strength. When we meet someone new, we’re all hardwired to assess two things in this order:
- What are their intentions toward me?
- Do they have the capability to act on those intentions?
Incidentally, these line up nicely with the emotional and functional elements of trustworthiness.
When we start by sharing our expertise, accomplishments, and experience, we make the mistake of answering the second question first.
While demonstrating strength isn’t a bad thing, if we demonstrate strength without first genuinely communicating whose side we’re on, we become a possible threat. People stop listening. Unconscious defenses go up. Subtle self-protection protocols go into effect.
In trying to make a good impression, we may end up inadvertently shutting people down.
Researchers found we often make this mistake because we’re so convinced of our own good intentions that we don’t see the need to communicate them.
So next time you’re introducing yourself, lead with your good intentions and follow with your capabilities.
Stay tuned next week for a real life example of one executive’s unconventional introduction to his team.
For Reflection: How are you letting people know you’re on their side?
Update: 100% Proposal Complete!
Finished! It only took one old-school all-nighter and some significant sacrifices from the family, but the book proposal and first two chapters are complete!
10/10 Content (10%)
10/10 Market (10%)
5/5 Author (5%)
25/25 Synopsis (25%)
50/50 Sample Chapters (50%)
100/100 Total (100%)
