Imagine two individuals are arrested for a crime. Each prisoner is isolated and presented with a choice: Trust the other prisoner by remaining silent, or betray them by testifying against them. The prisoners’ choices lead to the following consequences:

• If both prisoners remain silent, they both receive a 1-year sentence.
• If one prisoner testifies while the other remains silent, the betrayer goes free, and the silent one receives a 3-year sentence.
• If both prisoners testify against each other, both receive a 2-year sentence.

At first glance, the rational choice is clear: betray the other to minimize personal consequences. However, this logic leads to a paradox. If both prisoners follow their self-interest and betray each other, they both end up worse off than if they had cooperated.

This is the classic prisoner’s dilemma, a thought experiment that game theorists use to illustrate the tension between self-interest and mutual benefit. It also models many real-world scenarios in economics, sports, zoology, politics, and psychology.

One of the simplest ways to incentivize cooperation in the prisoner’s dilemma is by adding more rounds and not defining an end to the game. This allows participants to learn from each other, punish poor choices, and adopt new behaviors.

Likewise, the more iterations you have with someone in real life, the easier it is to make wise trust decisions in that relationship. You collect more accurate answers about their authenticity, benevolence, competence, and dependability. You can also create the conditions for reciprocal trust.

Here are three practical ways to “change the game” by highlighting the possibility of future interactions:

1. Talk about the future with your team, your boss, your clients, your customers, your kids. Game theory tells us the mere possibility of future interactions incentivizes humans to play nicely, since we know our choices might have consequences down the road.
2. Create opportunities for future connections. This may be scheduling a recurring lunch with a friend. It might be inviting people to “drop in” during your “office hours.” Maybe it’s never ending a meeting without scheduling the next one.
3. Transform transactions into human connections. Sometimes a transaction is all you want and need. Other times, seeing, acknowledging, and engaging the humans involved can elevate a transaction to an engagement, leaving people eager to see you again.

For Reflection: How do you let others know you’re in this for the long haul?

Update: Revising Proposal & Queries

I’ve received a lot of great feedback on my proposal and I’m currently revising it and drafting my queries which I plan to start sending out next week!