“What flavor are they?” I asked my son as I drove down the highway on a family roadtrip a few years ago. “Sour Cream and Onion? Oh, you’ll like those.”
“No I won’t,” Luke responded from the back row of the minivan.
“Just try them. They’re good.”
“I don’t like sour cream or onions,” Luke said flatly. “You know that.”
“I don’t like sour cream or onions either,” I explained. “But you’ll like these chips.”
“That’s okay,” Luke said, “I’m good.”
“Luke,” I said seriously. “Trust me. Put one of those chips in your mouth.”
Silence…followed by the sound of hesitant munching…
“What the—these are delicious! They don’t taste anything like sour cream or onions!”
Ah, the day I ordered my son to eat a potato chip. It’s a funny story, but illustrates an important point: Not only do we need to cultivate trustworthiness, but we need to communicate it as well.
I believed I was trustworthy in this situation, but my son was skeptical—and rightly so! I knew if I could get him to trust me enough to taste just one chip, he’d realize how good they are.
Our trustworthiness doesn’t do anyone any good, unless we effectively convey it. When we display trustworthiness through our words and actions, others are much more likely to trust us.
Here are a few ideas for displaying each of the Four Elements of Trustworthiness:
Authenticity:
- Share relevant stories about your core values
- Share your honest point of view
Benevolence:
- Listen to others with sincere interest
- Highlight what you have in common
Competence:
- Readily admit what you don’t know and can’t do
- Speak with authority—don’t modify or mince your words
Dependability:
- Share relevant success stories
- Build an impressive track record
Notice, I used a few of these in my conversation with Luke:
“Oh, you’ll like those” (Share your honest point of view)
“I don’t like sour cream or onions either” (Highlight what you have in common)
“Put one of those chips in your mouth” (Speak with authority)
People won’t trust you until they believe you’re worthy of it. So after you’ve cultivated your own trustworthiness, don’t let it go to waste—let others know they can trust you!
For Reflection: How might you convey your trustworthiness more skillfully?
