You’re waiting for the “walk” sign to illuminate as traffic zips by. After pressing the button for the fifth time, the light changes and you’re across the street, through the front door, and in the elevator. You mash the close door button a few times and the doors slowly slide into place. You check your watch and…relax. You’re going to make it. You did it.
Fun Fact: You didn’t “do” as much as you thought you did. This scenario illustrates what Psychologist Ellen Langer first called the “illusion of control.” All those buttons you pressed? None of them were functional.
Computers have controlled traffic lights in large cities since the 1980s, leaving roughly 10% of urban crosswalk buttons inoperable. And elevators made in the US after 1990 are required by law to remain open long enough for those with physical disabilities to get in—so no amount of button mashing will speed the process.
So why are the buttons still there? In some cases, it’s not cost effective to remove them, but another reason is psychological. We like to think we’re in control. It makes us feel safe. It makes the world seem not so scary.
While pressing useless buttons may be harmless, sometimes the allure of control can lead us astray.
We want to believe we can directly control our finances, our projects, our teams, our relationships, our future. We yearn for the sense of security that control promises. Advertisers constantly cater to that desire by peddling more and more control.
However, control—as Langer pointed out—is often an illusion. And the security it offers is just as flimsy.
There are a million things hovering just beyond your grasp at any given moment. The weather. The price of oil. The competition. The people around you. Your next breath.
You can respond to that troublesome fact in 3 ways:
- Do nothing and resign yourself to being tossed around by the wind and waves of life.
- Strive to control the uncontrollable and wear yourself out chasing after the wind.
- Learn to wisely trust yourself and others to respond to whatever life throws at you.
True power doesn’t come from control—control is a cheap imposter of power. True power belongs to those who can trust well enough to harness the uncontrollable, adapt to the inconceivable, and maneuver in the unknown. This is true power, true security, and true freedom.
For Reflection: What are you trying to control, that you should be letting go?
