A few years back, a seven-year-old walked through my front door just as I finished decorating for Christmas. This neighborhood kid was a regular, so I puffed up a bit, gestured grandly to our living room, and asked, “Well, Robbie, what do you think?”

Robbie stopped, surveyed the lights and garland carefully, then replied with a nod, “You over did it.” He then walked past me to find something to eat in the kitchen.

That’s what I like about seven-year-olds—you always get a straight answer. The young often have a healthy disregard for what others think. And every one of us was the same way when we were kids.

So what happened?

At some point, we started to care about what other people thought. We wanted to belong, to fit in. We quickly learned to present an image of ourselves we thought others would approve of.

We put on masks to conceal and protect our true selves. And we still wear them today.

These masks seem to serve us well; however, they subtly undermine our trustworthiness. They violate the first element of trustworthiness—Authenticity—upon which all the other elements are built.

To foster emotional trust with others, we must first remove our masks.

But we can’t stop there. If we just remove our masks, then all we’ve done is go back to being a seven-year-old. When a child acts like a child, it’s amusing; when an adult acts like a child it’s annoying.

However, we have something the child lacks: the capacity to perceive the needs of others and subordinate our own desires to help someone else. We have what it takes to be benevolent.

Cultivating Authenticity and Benevolence together allows you to rediscover your childlike candor and couple it to a genuine care for others. This forms the foundation of emotional trustworthiness.

So take off your masks, tell the truth, speak your mind, share your perspective—but do it all with an honest concern for the welfare of others.

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For Reflection: What masks do you wear at work?